Masks
by P-chan-TheLostGirl
Summary: A look at Duo\'s \'mask\' and the events in his life that brought him to his current atitude towards everyday life and the war.


Warnings: Angst, language   
  
Rating: PG-13   
  
  
Masks- by P-chan   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
We wear the mask   
  
  
  
We wear the mask that grins and lies,   
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,--   
This debt we pay to human guile;   
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,   
And mouth with myriad subtleties.   
  
Why should the world be overwise,   
In counting all our tears and sighs?   
Nay, let them only see us, while   
We wear the mask.   
  
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries   
To thee from tortured souls arise.   
We sing, but oh the clay is vile   
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;   
But let the world dream otherwise,   
We wear the mask!   
- Paul Laurence Dunbar   
  
Masks... I wear a mask, but I don't think anyone knows it. All of us wear masks but I think mine is thickest, after all I've been perfecting it for 10 years, not that it was always so necessary. I think it started when I began stealing, the mask I mean. I learned to always look at people with my big innocent eyes as if I didn't even know what the word stealing entailed. But then it wasn't a full mask... more like something I could play with, take on and off at will.   
Then I met Solo and he helped me prefect my mask of innocence until there wasn't a flaw about it. And then Solo died and mask got another layer, a layer to hide the sorrow I felt. But even after Solo died that second layer wasn't that thick, I was sad but not so sad that I required a full mask. I was somewhat contented to stay and make an attempt to lead the group as well as Solo had.   
Then Maxwell church picked up the group and I dropped my mask of innocence once and for all, it was to close to lying. But I kept up my mask of happiness because I could never be happy knowing what a burden I was being to both Sister Helen and Father Maxwell. All the other kids got adopted into loving families but I always got sent back.   
Father Maxwell and Sister Helen were like a Mother and Father to me, and I don't think they ever really considered me a burden; the Father would always set me on his lap and told me about god, and how wonderful and forgiving god was. I don't think I ever surprised the Sister and Father though as much as the time I told them I didn't believe in god, only Shinigami the god of death.   
There were sometimes at Maxwell church when I could almost let my happy mask drop, almost. It was so quite and peaceful there that you could almost forget that it was located in a very poor colony cluster; again another 'almost'. I was always different, somehow the other kids forgot that they had led horrible lives before Maxwell Church, but never me, I never forgot Solo and his sightless gaze.   
I almost forgot the mask, almost. But then the soldiers came, and I was painfully reminded that I still had a mask. Those evil men made me steal again, made me break one of the two rules I had set for myself at Maxwell church. I got them their goddamned Mobile Suit but what did do? They BLEW UP Maxwell church. They destroyed the only home I had ever known.   
My first reaction was shock, I ran into the ruble not believing my eyes. The smell was horrible, burnt flesh mixed with the smell of sulphur, but I still didn't believe that the church was gone. But then I found her, Sister Helen and suddenly the whole world came crashing down around me, not Helen, not the Sister. But she was still alive, I could save her, I could save her like I couldn't save Solo. But she died too, and for the first time ever all my masks came down and I screamed and cried like a baby.   
After that day the masks never came down again, I didn't like that feeling, it was like being naked but somehow worse. That's why I am how I am today, smiling and joking even in the midst of killing, because I think if I dropped my mask I'd die, I wouldn't know how to live without it. So I've resolved that the only way to get rid of this hateful thing I wear is to really become happy, so it will no longer be a mask but the truth. So when this goddamned war is over I think I going to try and lose my mask.   
  
  
  
Owari?   
  
!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!   
  
  
AN: Well how'd ya like it? I had a lot of fun writing this and I think it turned out ok. Everyone please review and tell me what you think. I might continue depending on the kind of reviews I get. Thank you   
JA!


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